Written on Tuesday 12th May
Ten Justifications the Friend-zone is NOT a Bad Place
“Ooh baby youuuu, got what I need,
But you say I’m just a friend, but you say I’m just a friend…”
Remember this song? ‘Just a Friend‘ by Mario. I used to love this tune. I remember singing it a lot when it came out. Generally, it was talking about this girl who this boy really liked and wanted to go steady, but the girl only saw him as a friend, despite her admitting that he was a good guy and had what she would have wanted in a boyfriend. Sounds familiar? Do you have that person you like a lot and want to become more? That one person who you would lay down your life for? Catch a grenade for? Jump in front of a train for? But for some reason they just never pick you. They will go out with others but you always stay as ‘a friend’? I know, feels torturous doesn’t it…
Well today, I want to put your suffering mind and soul at ease. I have 10 points that will make watching your love interest hop from one relationship to another more bearable. The Friend-zone is actually not a bad place; it might not be what you would instantly want, but it isn’t a dreadful post as it is assumed to be…and here are the reasons why.
- Before I go further, I will have to clarify something that will serve as the first reason. Other than the eligible, entitled ‘Boyfriend-zone’ there exist a ‘Friend-zone’ and an ‘Acquaintance-zone’. Do not confuse the two. The Friend-zone is that place where both parties spend time together, talk, share thoughts and actually enjoy each other’s company- to some extent, whereas, the Acquaintance-zone is that which the two parties have met once or a few times, and do not necessarily spend time together. Here, the two are not close friends. So there, if you are in the friend-zone with the person you fancy, be glad you are not in the acquaintance-zone!
- You are what 16? 20? 25? I bet you don’t want to fully settle down, move in together, and get married, do you? You just want to have a relationship with her or him- for a while- before you meet your next relationship. My point here being, most relationships that people get into without the end in mind do not last. So while your person-of-interest is going from one relationship to another, picking and dropping them, guess who stays? You. In other words, if you are not ready to put a ring on it, being friends is actually a good way to keep in touch. The odds of a friendship lasting are way higher than a relationship.
- I know of several relationships where one tries to be perfect just to please the partner. The girl or boy would be at their best when their second-half is around. There are some things they would never do, say or show them, even though it’s something they would usually do. Relationships have unsaid expectations that many try to uphold, and in the end, countless pretend to be people they are not. Well, in the Friend-zone, these said persons never pretend. In the Friend-zone, there is more acceptance and understanding. Nobody is trying to change the other. Basically, there is more trust. Trust that the other person will not run away just because you snore, read soapy books, hate their mother, are over-ambitious, don’t know how to cook, like to argue, think Man-United players are unskilled, don’t like the Jubilee party or that you are fat (-ter than you would like to be). People here tend to be more open with each other. Yes, everybody has that fear of losing the person they are in a steady relationship with, but not so much in the friend-zone. Here, they are themselves, honest, and not so self-conscious or worried about certain expectations. So if you really want to know that girl you are into, that boy that makes your heart beat faster, and not spend time with an actor, then be friends. Get to the friend-zone.
- Being in the Friend-zone is actually good for your sleep and eventually health! You would not be worried that he is cheating on you, you will not get stressed over the fact that he did not call you for two days, that he put that girl as his WCW, you would not be frustrated that she went out without you, or get tormented because she might be pregnant!
- Okay, this one is for the boys. You will get to see her in her underwear! No really, many females are more cognizant of their bodies around people they are sleeping with compared to people they are not. In the Friend-zone, you will get to watch her swim in her bikini, walk around in those very short boyshorts, know about that tattoo on her thigh, and maybe the other poor bastard has not even seen her knees, or gotten to second base!
- Okay, this is a very important point, and everybody should listen. She can only date one person at a time! Hypothetically speaking, the same reasons you like her, are the same reasons sixty other guys out there like her. Yes, I said sixty. Three from school or work, four from her neighbourhood, two from church, another four she met through her other friends, fifteen from Facebook, ten from Twitter, twenty from Instagram, and the seven other dudes she hasn’t met yet- that year! Nevertheless, she can only be a girlfriend to one! So what are the odds it will be in your favour? What chances are there that you will be that one lucky bastard out of the many? Maybe high, maybe low, but being in the friend-zone is not looking that bad a place is it now?
- So he or she put you in the Friend-zone. He obviously thinks you don’t fit the bill. She obviously thinks you are not worthy of being in a relationship with her. Why would you pine over someone who thinks less of you? Have you thought that maybe you are in the friend-zone because you two do not match?? That maybe you deserve somebody better? That maybe you two will be miserable in a relationship with each other. Friend, maybe you dodged a bullet.
- Compared to the guy she is dating, you probably have more savings in your account than he does. You do not have the obligation to impress her much. Taking her out for an ice-cream at the park and hanging out at Jivanjee gardens is actually not a felony. Lol. You do not have to keep aside enough money to buy her expensive gifts, take her to trips, or dine her at Sarova Stanley. Just saying, you can invest that money and do stuff you know…
- The main difference between the Friend-zone and the Lover is the intimacy (or sex for some). Being in the friend-zone gives you a fair amount of chances to spend time with the person you are attracted to, just without getting physically intimate with them. She or he will give you sincere compliments, you two will get to really know each other, and maybe even become best friends. So what is it you want from the other person? Aren’t you two hanging out? Isn’t he or she giving you their attention? If sex is the only thing you want from the person then…shame on you!
- Lastly, if you are meant to be with somebody, then you will be. If you are not, then there are worse things that could happen than being in the Friend-zone with the person you are attracted to, don’t you think so?
Well, I’m hoping more people will start appreciating this place called the ‘Friend-zone.’ Would you all stop worrying about which zone you are in and just enjoy the spot! It is actually a nice place if you really think about it, unless of course you cannot live without the person-of-interest and would like die if you did not get into a relationship with them…or something. Which I doubt is the case. This brings me to the fact that there are things people do that keeps them stuck in the famous Friend-zone, but hey, that’s another ten reasons for another whole post. Maybe the next post.
So see you next Tuesday! *peace sign*