lady freak

So the other day I ended up having a heated conversation with a bunch of friends- and friends of friends- of mine. I got to learn quite a lot a bit that afternoon because they were all boys. I am certain many of you have heard men saying how they want a ‘lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets’ before. You know, one with an innocent, meek and respectful persona in public but who is also a potential porn star in bed.. Well, a few laughs into the profound discussion that afternoon made me realize that men actually don’t know what they want, and that that street-sheets phrase is just a hip-hop mantra they heard on TV.

So when that girl goes out of her way to try and impress him with her sexual prowess, the man is lying there wondering how in the world she ended up being like that, how many men it took, and if he is the only one getting those ‘privileges’. Frankly, to tell you the truth I was a bit shocked to find out that they become a bit hesitant to get committed when they find out that the female is rather ‘experienced’. In fact, some even freak out and start withdrawing emotionally. Don’t get me wrong, of course they would love to have you in their beds, and brag to their friends how wild and crazy it gets in the bedroom, and other places. However, they are ‘afraid’ of her cheating and end up getting all insecure.

On the other hand, a man –so I was told- doesn’t want a boring woman in bed, especially the ones that just lie there like a log waiting to inherit the earth. Nevertheless, they wouldn’t mind one who they will grow together sexually. The sexual adventure can be fun and high chances are they will both end up discovering stuff together in terms of what works for them and what doesn’t.

As for the lady part, as it turns out, the word ‘lady’ is quite relative. They don’t necessarily want princess-dormant in public, what they actually mean is that they would hate to find out that the girl they like has several sex scandals in her past, or that half of the men in her county have been through her, or that she has a well-known history of dramatic scenes in a number of restaurants in town.

Well here is what I think ladies, biologically speaking, any woman can be highly sexual if the man knows how to hit the right spot. And hoping that we are talking about a genuine relationship here, the man and woman have different ways of naturally expressing their feelings towards each other in bed. Meanwhile, being a lady is somewhat mandatory for a relationship to work. Not sleeping around, having good rapport with people, being well-dressed and self-sufficient, having self-respect and being kind to others will enable you get along with people, have less arguments with him, get on with your in-laws (this one is for your own good girl) and most importantly be a good mother to your kids. and I guess a good wife to your husband?

What I am trying to say here is I have seen different ladies with different combinations of ‘ranking’ in the streets and in the sheets but still end up being cheated on. Deceptively, men don’t really know what they want really. So You don’t have to suck up to anybody’s expectations just to please them in the expense of your happiness. Be yourself, and the right man will come along for you. Apparently there is more to this whole macho sex-activism you see on the internet.

If you ask me, I would say wait till you get married and then decide to show your husband the sexy side of you. Don’t waste your time jumping from one man to another sexually hoping to find one that will stay. A husband would probably be less paranoid and more understanding (hoping you won’t get married to a serial killer or something). Only then will you get to discover each other without the fear of losing him to somebody else.

So next time you hear a guy saying how he wants a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets, what you should be worried about and the question you should be asking is ‘how many ladies and freaks is he really talking about?’

lady in control



  1. I have to regretfully admit that some of the things mentioned are true. But lets be honest, not all me are the same in thoughts and actions. Men’s different different views on sex are as many as the stars in the sky, depending the fantasies that may running through their minds at a given time. So please, let’s try cutting them some slack and help them in this sensitive topic of sex.

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