Do you ever wake up some days and feel ‘unattractive’? You look into the mirror and nothing you do to yourself makes you feel pretty. Even if you did the same thing you did that day you went out and was on top of the world. Have you ever opened your closet and stared endlessly at your hanged and folded clothes, and turn away sighing, “I don’t have anything to wear.” ? Girls do this a lot. We will try out hundreds different clothes in front of the mirror, but nothing ever feels right. Grab it. Put on. Make a face over the reflection. Throw it away. Repeat. And the funny thing about this is that you could try on that beautiful dress you bought a month ago but still feel like it’s just not it. Earlier on, I thought about this phenomenon and tried to explain it. After much contemplation and racking my brain over it, my friend and I concluded that some events just need a particular look that we often do not find on that dire outfit-search moment. But it’s not until today that I reasoned that we regularly experience similar if not the same events over and over. It’s not like we are usually invited to an utterly new, extraordinary, unprecedented event that will be filled with a different kind of species. So why would the outfit I wore three months ago feel like a throw-away today? Why would the blouse that resembles the one I wore to that wedding seem unworthy of exposure-glory to this other wedding? Well guess what ladies, I finally found out the real reason behind it all. At last, the mystery is no more. The riddle is solved. The secret, out of the bag…*drum rolls*… It is never about the clothes, it’s how we feel about our body that particular day!

You’re probably wondering how I came up with this conclusion, aren’t you? Well today morning as I was deciding what outfit to wear for the day, I tried on this grey skirt I had but didn’t like wearing…and I loved it! It fit me perfectly! Almost a year later, and it is now one of my favorite skirts. And you wanna know why? Because of how I see and feel about my body now. A year ago I had body-image issues. My horrible diet didn’t help much either. However, I haven’t changed thaaaaaat much, although, I like my body a whole lot better now than I did then. I got over the brain-washed perfect-body mentality awhile back, and it feels great! Us ladies believe that there is this particular body image that the society considers ‘normal’, ‘okay’, ‘right’. Well, I am here today to tell you that, this is society lie number two.

Some times, what we see is not what we really are...

Some times, what we see is not what we really are…

I used to be there, feeling like most of us real female human-beings feel. You have body parts that we do not consider our favorite. You wish we were a little bit thinner, or a little bit bigger, or a little bit tighter…here and there. You let what you consider your body-flaws dictate your existence. And sometimes it gets so bad that you stop living because of the imperfections you convinced yourself you have. it gets to a point where you say no to a great opportunity because you are disappointed with your body or do not believe in yourself. You somehow just don’t look right for it. You turn down that night-out invite because you couldn’t find a dress that fit your body right. You cancel attending that party in the last minute because the black tights you wanted to wear got ripped by a nail you had not seen, and hence cannot leave the house with your legs bare cause you think they look a bit fat. You did not buy that gorgeous dress that would have made you look stunning because it had short sleeves and would therefore not hide the scars on your arm. These are just a few of the moments where we think that our bodies may embarrass us because they are not what the society considers ‘right’. So you start planning on plastic surgeries and dream of body implants. Sister, this is me telling you to get your thoughts out of the ditch.

When we don't feel good enough...

When we don’t feel good enough…

You do not need to be validated by anyone. The number of likes you get on that instagram pic does not make you any less beautiful or amazing. If you like that dress, and it makes you feel happy when you wear it, screw what the rest of the human species says. Go ahead and rock it. Walk around with confidence and live your life. Do not try to measure up to some ‘standard body image’ that does not exist. You are busy comparing yourself to X, while she is busy comparing herself to Y, who wishes she was more like Z. Get this straight, there is no standard body image. Even those photographs on the cover page of magazines are tampered with. You also need to know that nobody is an exact copy of another in the entire world. Not physically, not genetically, and not in life usual preferences. Yup, even identical twins do not have the exact same DNA. So why waste a wish on the impossible. You cannot be a replica of ‘her’; there are no exceptions.

Ladies, our Flaws do not define us. And some times, what you consider a flaw is not. In fact, it’s what somebody else wishes they had. The shape, colour, texture, size of your body does not reduce the value of yourself. It doesn’t define your intelligence, it does not affect your personality, it doesn’t influence your abilities, and it should not have an effect on your happiness. Additional dissatisfaction can be brought about by assailing ourselves with too much coveted stimuli. We should not focus on other people’s lifestyles, what your neighbour owns, who your classmate is dating, and how that dress looks on her in her Facebook photo. You take a look into people’s instagram accounts everyday to look at the glamourous lives of celebrities, the new places what’s-her-name traveled to, the body {insert anonymous gymnast name} got after 30 days of God-knows-what she did, then later go and look yourselves in the mirror and feel miserable. Stop that. Define your life with what is there and not what is not. Empower your confidence Not your insecurities. Do not use your weaknesses to build your character, but instead use your strengths.

You are worthy. You are good enough. You are great!

You are Beautiful. Furthermore, your body image does not define you.

You are Beautiful. Furthermore, your body image does not define you.

NOTE: You might find it a bit hard to do the above, but worry not. The next Ten Tuesday List I write will be a list of TEN things you can do to FEEL great about your body and BE just that.



  1. This so true.Feels like it was written for me and I know every girl would feel the same.This is really a good piece

  2. Very nice piece.

  3. its meant for ladies but let me weigh in abit. Great piece but your tips are kinda of like those of an ostrich burying its head in the sand. Sure not everyone gets closure about their past relationship but running away from something aint dealing with it. Avoidance of even mentioning the name!!!!!!!!!!!! that will only make things worse for the sake of letting go

  4. I think this was a comment that was meant for the other post? The Ex-game?

    Haha well,you have a point. But this applies in situations where you want to move on, but the memories of your past relationship keeps coming in the way, hadi you’re squashing the chances with your next. These tips may help keep the memories at bay, and get you focusing on your present and not the past. Plus what do you suggest as an alternative? Stalking the ex? :-p

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