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Heartbroken before? Been there done that right? And it was probably by a boy your age-mate. Several months or just a few years older than you. Whether you wanted him or not at first, he made you want him and lead you on, ending up in some sort of relationship then later cheated on you or treated you like you didn’t matter. Played with your heart and got away with it. Every girl has been through this; whether for 2 weeks or 2 years. But we are perhaps used to this. I mean what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? After like a number of heartbreaks you get to know how to tell a fake from a real- caring- man. You develop the skill of knowing when he is lying or hiding something. You dodge a lot of many more heartbreaks way before you even get to it. You learn to see it coming. And then finally you get to eventually meet a guy who values you. The one who passed all your tests. The one who doesn’t do the things the others did. The one who earns your trust and makes you glad that it didn’t work out with the rest. And you guys actually last. I guess we wouldn’t have been able to tell him from the rest if we hadn’t gone through the heartbreaks right? But that is not what I want to talk about today. I don’t want to talk about our age-mates. I want to talk about the older men.

I was walking home from the stage, yesterday night at around 10pm. I was totally enjoying the music blasting into my ears from my phone through my pretty blue earphones. Keeping the good pedestrian-road practices in mind, I walked on the right side of the road next to the lane with the incoming cars. Then I heard a hooting sound from the other side of the not-so-wide road. I turned my head to my left and my eyes came into contact with a brand new shiny black Prado. “Hello there,” said the older man who was driving it. Then he went ahead and packed the car beside the other side of the road. I looked at the car again and the number plates too. Not any relative or friend I know. Looking at the man again, I couldn’t recognize him.
“Are you Ok?” He asked. And I thought, how nice, he’s concerned about my safety.
“Yes I am thank you,” I said back and decide to continue walking, after remembering all the rape and kidnapping cases I have been hearing of late. The man starts driving again, although a lot slower this time. The car deliberately follows me. Then it happened!
“Hey babe, c’mon lets go for a drink.”
My jaw dropped. Yes like that cartoon image you see on TV. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Really old man? Really? I continued walking on and completely dismissed his advances, and ignored his presence. After he realized I wasn’t going to give in, he drove off leaving me still a bit stunned. That’s when I crossed the road to the other side, I was not very far from our gate. I know, I thanked God I had been on the other side of the road, a distance away from the car. I mean who knew what could have happened? That aside, what did the older man think I was. I definitely wasn’t dressed like a hooker, and my attempt of looking super good that morning had nothing to do with attracting older men! Did he actually think I would be swayed by his fancy car and offers and get into his car?? Though I got to admit, it looked like a pretty cool sleek car… No I would not be bought!

The fact that he had said all that so effortlessly and dauntlessly could only imply that he had done this before, and it had worked. Grown older men who are supposed to be like father figures pulling such a stunt to the younger ladies; young enough to be their daughters. For all I know he could be a father of three! And one still in nappies! He probably had a wife or a fiancée back at home. I wonder what his excuse was this time. He would be working late? His car had broken down? He had an executive meeting? How do these men live with their conscience?! Dating is one thing, but marriage is another. That right there is a commitment and a promise made in front of God, your family, friends and a whole bunch of other beings. It is not fair at all to the other party. Will they go back to their homes and carry their kids, kiss their wives and act like the “perfect” husband? Will they go to church that Sunday, or to the mosque that Friday, and pray to the almighty like they have been the best of humans? Would they want their young daughters to be approached like by other men their age?

Not even for a minute did I feel flattered that the man was hitting on me, or that he found me attractive and was ready to spend on me. The thought of being taken to a bar to “hang out” with his older friends, or being taken to the club to be used as a trophy, or worse being taken to a hotel and then asked for sex after the drinks was absolutely revolting. I don’t know how the girls who do it, do it. I don’t think they would like it if they found out that their fathers are doing the same thing to other younger women. Funny how if you are the victim it sounds totally wrong.. I mean you would be angry at your dad and the other younger woman right? I bet you would hate the fact that he is cheating on your mum and probably neglecting the family.. Then why are you doing that yourself? Why would you want to be the reason why a man would lie to his wife and kids? Why would you want to be seen in bars entertaining older men, who would obviously ask for ‘something’ in return. I mean does “dignity” mean anything to you. Your image? Your respect. You being a role-model to your younger siblings.

It’s harmless you say? What you don’t know is that it affects you not just physically, but psychologically too. You grow up into a needy, immoral and dependent woman. Several years later, you would be applying for a job and the interviewers will somehow see it. A decade later and you are a mother. Karma can be a bitch. Your husband may end up doing the same; or your daughter might follow after you…and maybe then you’ll see how wrong it is. But it will be too late. Alternatively, you’ll end up pregnant and be turned into “wife” No.2, or worse die of AIDs. But then again, maybe that is your main goal in your life? All in all, I would definitely not want my brother or friend dating such a girl. Maybe next time you complain about a man cheating on you, your mind will flashback to that moment of your life.
And as for the older men, stick to your wives!
Sigh. Oh well, I guess we live in a man eat man world.


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