What do you look for in a guy? Who do you consider boyfriend material? People have asked me this quite a number of times before. At first I used to give them a whole list of qualities, you know, the ones we see a lot in more than a few Facebook groups. Then there came a time my answer went like “I don’t have a particular type. As long as we click and connect”. However, after a while of soul searching and getting to know and embrace myself, I found the answer, which I know would not change any time soon. So what do I look for in a guy? What do I consider boyfriend material? What got me to choose him and not the other? Three things. They may sound simple but, they are apparently not easily achievable.
One: First things first, He should be easy on the eyes. And by this, I mean there has to be some sort of attraction. It’s not just about looks, you don’t have to be a mix of Tom Cruise and Drake to get a girl like me; but being smart, clean cut and smelling nice is a good start. It doesn’t have to be expensive or designer, it just has to be neat. Believe it or not, other than looking good, this demonstrates responsibility. If you can’t take care of yourself then you probably can’t take care of much. Then again, the more you get to know a person and the more you like them, the more attractive they become.
Two: A man of his word. He should be somebody who does what they said they will do. If he says he will call back, then he better! If he says he will take you out, then he should. If he says he would not cheat on you, he shouldn’t. If he says he will be there at 2pm, then he should; if not, call up earlier and say he will be late. This implies that he keeps his promises and he can be trusted.
Three: A man who knows how to treat a lady. And by this I mean one who respects her, treats her well, and cares about her wellbeing. One who would not abuse her or ever lay a hand on her. One who knows just what to do to make her girl happy and would not even think about doing things that would make her sad or mad. Yes people do get into disagreements and fights, but I’d rather a guy who is ready to talk about it and solve it, rather than the one who would go out and drink all night and evade it. Cause believe it or not guys, most of the time it’s never really about what you did, it’s more about what you do about it now that it’s done.
So yeah, that’s more or less it. Cause if these three attributes are present, everything else will fall into place. And guess what, the moment I understood exactly what I wanted (and what I didn’t want), I started seeing more of it around me. Here’s the catch though ladies, the only way you can get such a man and actually keep him, is if you have the same qualities too. Working relationships are a two way thing. You give you get. And if all you do is give, stop being miserable and just walk away. Stop complaining about the bad guys and wait for the one who will treat you right. It all starts at the beginning, let him know what you want and if he is up for it, he will stay; if not he will leave and make way for the one who has what it takes. This doesn’t mean you should tell him you wanna marry him on the first date! What I mean is if he wants to make you a ‘friend with benefits’, a side chic or a play-toy and you want more, say it! If you don’t ask for what you want, you’ll keep ending up with what you get. On the other hand you have to know what you want, cause I do, and I’m getting it. All around me.