The other day I read this blog on the internet and the general hard truth I learnt from it is that the world or rather the society only cares about what it can get from you. The society is full of people who need things and hence your success will be measured by how much you can give to it, no matter how kind and polite you are. What you do, is what you are. Ever wondered why surgeons are more respected than writers? Or why mechanics get more respect than unemployed hipsters..
It’s sad but true. And guess what? That doesn’t apply to just our jobs but also in other parts of our lives. Today I’m gonna talk about nice guys, basing my insight on the above facts. Now what you give to the ‘society’ doesn’t necessarily have to be related to money, it just has to benefit people. Girls get many advances from men; I’m talking facebook inboxes, twitter DMs, texts and messages, and yes they get hit on in real life too. Not just by a particular type of men, but by all kinds. Statistically (and I dont mean I did a survey or anything, but it’s all over the internet and everybody keeps saying it), there are quite a number of men who lament on the fact that women don’t give them much attention despite the fact that they are the nicest guys on earth. This is where the above truth comes in; for girls to put you into consideration, you have to bring something to the table.
Many nice guys complain about being ignored or ending up in the most-despised friend-zone, even though they do nothing about it. Most, if not all, of the girls I’m talking about have plans for their future. They intend to be someone or have some things in the next five years, while you probably just sit around and play video games all day or talk about irrelevant people and things day in day out on twitter. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just about having a nice job or making a lot of cash, it’s about what it is that you can offer. Do you come to her defense when she’s in distress? Are you talented? Do you make her laugh? Are you interesting? Are you charming? Do you do anything with your talents and abilities? You have to give her reasons to want you other than just being ‘nice’.
You claim you are a good listener? (and by listening you probably mean sitting next to her and say nothing while she talks on and on about her life, as you picture how it would be like kissing those lips..) while there is some other guy in her life who can do that and can also play the saxophone. You help her carry her groceries every day? Well there’s this funny and good-looking guy with a promising career who’s as able. While these other guys are giving her reasons enough for her to fancy them, all you do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself.
Yes you are not chauvinistic. You don’t ignore her messages when she texts you. You are not dumb, or greedy, or mean, or abusive. You don’t take her for granted like those other douchebags. But do you notice that all you are doing is listing the faults you don’t have. I also bet you wouldn’t have as long a list containing the attributes you actually have. Don’t whine about how girls keep falling for jerks. Believe it or not, they fall for jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. He takes forever to reply to her texts or inbox, but he probably takes her out every Friday. He forgets her birthday and their anniversaries, but he probably knows just what to say to make her laugh.
Nice men, Don’t let this break your heart. Instead of spending your whole life mopping about it, do something about it! Get that extra skill or learn that additional language, get out of that quiet and dormant shell of yours and maybe you will attract more girls your way. Saying you are a nice guy is like a shop selling clothes that don’t make you itch, but then what?? I am not saying you should sign up for the army, or start taking surgery classes, all I’m saying is being nice is not all that counts. Girls don’t ignore you because you are nice, they ignore you because being nice is all that you are.