I read somewhere that, ‘A well adjusted couple don’t have to change what could be or what should be. A good relationship just is.’
Now I don’t know about you, but when I read that, the first unsaid word that I hear out loud is ACCEPTANCE. The acceptance of each other in a relationship.Being content and happy with watchu got. Correction; It has nothing to do do with COMPROMISE. It has everything to do with embracing REALITY. Being happy with what it is and not what could or should be; cause guess what, it AINT!
Many of us get into relationships with certain fixed expectations or rather an already planned out plot of how the relationship would be. And we live around it like that is how it should be. Everything that differs with your plot is treated as ‘wrong’. We start comparing our fantasies with what is really happening. Well, we all know the end of such a relationship. A devastating breakup where each party thinks they are ‘right’ and the other party is ‘wrong’.
What I’m saying is if we lived with reality and become authentic with each other, our relationships would definitely last longer. No lies equals no regrets. Plus its easier to remember the truth.. Yes, being open saves a lot of trouble. And even though it’s not easy (I of all people know it’s Not!), It’s possible. It all depends on how bad you want it, how bad you want her, how bad you want him. How bad do you want it to work?
Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and most of all, two people who TRULY want to be together. Note that I said TWO, some of y’all don’t know how to count! You want him/ her to not cheat? It’s simple. Make the relationship worth it all. Because if it is, He/ She wouldn’t risk losing any of it over some mere moment of ‘weakness’. (*rolling my eyes* Yeah right, like you didn’t take yourself there)
Now the question you’re probably asking is how do you make it worth it? You wanna know my answer?? Okay fine, if you insist.. Have a relationship with HIM/ HER. Not what you think of him/ her, not what you’ve heard of him/ her, not his/ her friends, not his/ her family, not you story of how men/ women are! Deal with what’s happening now. Don’t bring your past into it. Don’t worry about the unknown future. If you think something is up, ASK. Don’t jump into conclusions! Oh and something else, Don’t say Yes when you mean No. And if you want it ask for it; no he wouldn’t read your mind and no she wouldn’t think you’re selfish. We get whatever we ask for, or get stuck with whatever we get. In other words, be REAL with each other.
Learn ad Live with him/ her. Not what you think he/ she should be, cause she aint. You said yes to him/ her didn’t you? You might as well make it work.
What I’m trying to say here is; Someone who really loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life.
Ps: That’s probably the only ‘bad’ side about him/ her..